Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize