there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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