I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
P.S. I can't hear my feet
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize