I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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