my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
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So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize