I wish I could teleport
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize