just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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