I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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