I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize