I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
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it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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