I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize