Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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