Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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