broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize