my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize