And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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