ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize