Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize