oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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