Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've blown a few things in my day
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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