I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize