Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize