We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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