I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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