The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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