**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize