All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
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