YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize