Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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