Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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