finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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