I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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