I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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