You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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