well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
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I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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