he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize