when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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