time to smoke my breakfast
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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