It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize