More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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