Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
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Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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