Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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