i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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