i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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