the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize