I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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