Where did you get a picture of my penis
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
love makes seman taste better
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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