But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize