i wish peter jackson would direct porn
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize