rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I smell like Dick and happiness
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